I thought he must be the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.

I thought if only I’d had a keen, shapely bone structure to my face or could discuss politics shrewdly or was a famous writer.

And then I wondered if as soon as he came to like me he would sink into ordinariness, and if as soon as he came to love me I would find fault after fault.

The same thing happened over and over:

I would catch sight of some flawless man off in the distance, but as soon as he moved closer I immediately saw he wouldn’t do at all.

That’s one of the reasons why I never want to get married. The last thing I wanted was infinite security and to be the place and arrow shoots off from. I wanted change and excitement and to shoot off in all directions myself, like the colored arrows from a Fourth of July rocket.